I'm sitting on the floor of my living room in my own apartment. That's right, folks, I have moved out of my mothers house and into my own apartment. I'm living with Sierra and Aaron is with me of course. I feel so much better about everything now.

So much to do... Cleaning, unpacking...

My mother wasn't happy with me. She made moving yesterday a pain in the ass. But whatever. I'm in my own place now.

I'm thinking of Jamie Foxx in The Soloist, "this is my apartment, this is my apartment, this is my apartment..."

I've waited for this day since I was 14.

This is my apartment...

-C

doctorparnassus

-C

My dad has been giving me gifts to catch up on the birthdays he has missed.

When Japanese children turn 5 years old, they begin learning how to write.

My dad bought me an ink and brush set, with a grinding stone and an soot block so I can make my own ink.

This is the single coolest gift I have ever been given in my entire life. I've been given a piece of my heritage, it's something that my grandparents, and their grandparents recieved when they turned 5. I've never felt more connected to my ancestors, to the people who are just like me.

My father and I are getting along much better. Now that I'm closer to him I think it's easier for both of us.

Ink and brush set!

As well as rice paper and a book on Japanese calligraphy.

I feel so proud to be Japanese. Even if it's just a quarter...

-C

Suddenly I am not comfortablenin my own skin, in my own thoughts, in my body.

I thought everything would go amazing with my dad. I was so wrong.

I am more depressed now then I have been in a very long time.

I never knew that anyone in this world could swoop into my life and mind fuck me like my father has. I am suddenly questioning everything about myself.

And I can't sleep.

-C

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